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Saturday, January 3, 2009
WTF is wrong with me?
OK, so I am riding down the road in the passenger seat with C driving us to dinner. This week has been "that time of the month" for me and he knows this. He wants to know when I will be healed up "down there" because he is ready, he says. For those of you who are new, C and I have had sex very sporadically for the last couple (or more) years. Since my Mom has passed away, C has a renewed interest in me, including in the sexual sense. I however have become so accustomed to his derogatory comments about the way that I look, smell, taste, etc. that I have lost ALL sexual desire for him. As you can tell by reading my previous posts, I am not frigid by any means. But the mere thought of him touching me makes me nauseous. I don't know what to say to him when he wants to have sex with me. How many headaches can one person really have? I know that I am his wife and this is considered by most to be a "wifely duty" but I hate being with him. Do I just close my eyes and go to a happy place or what? Anyone else ever been here?
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3 comments:
I don't envy you being in that position. "Wifely duty." That's rough when it comes to that. I wish I had good advice.
your blog is feel good......
If you don't want to have sex with him, don't. Bear in mind, the legal term is called "constructive abandonment" - if one spouse withholds sex and has no good medical or religious reason for doing so, after a certain period of time it can be considered grounds for divorce (in those few places where grounds for divorce are still required).
If he tries forcing himself on you, regardless of the marital relationship it's still considered rape in most jurisdictions (talk to a criminal lawyer to be sure). Such cases used to be very difficult to prove, but forensic science has made some huge strides - at a minimum, it can be proved that intercourse was either violent or non-consensual. However, you'd also need to be careful about the whole "more than one sexual partner" thing, since that may come out as well - even if P uses a condom.
In the end, "wifely duty" isn't what it used to be. You aren't obligated to have sex with him under any circumstances, but he isn't obligated to remain married to you if you do so. A divorce attorney can tell you how it could affect division of assets.
Have you actually spoken to a divorce attorney yet, if for no other reason than a "fact-finding tour"?
BTW: "goooooood girl" is a spammer.
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